"The woman down there had no mind, she had only strong arms, a warm heart and a fertile belly. He wondered how many children she had given birth to. It might easily be fifteen. She had had her momentary flowering, a year, perhaps, of wildrose beauty, and then she had suddenly swollen like a fertilised fruit and grown hard red and coarse, and then her life had been laundering, scrubbing, darning, cooking, sweeping polishing, mending, scrubbing, laundering, first for children, then for grandchildren, over thirty unbroken years. At the end of it she was still singing. The mystical reverence that he felt for her was somehow mixed up with the aspect of the pale, cloudless sky, stretching away behind the chimney pots into interminable distances. It was curious to think that the sky was the same for everybody, in Eurosia or Eastasia as well as here. And the people under the sky were also very much the same - everywhere, all over the world, hundreds of thousands of millions of people just like this, people ignorant of one another's existence, held apart by walls of hatred and lies, and yet almost exactly the same - people who had never learned to think by who were storing up in their hearts and bellies and muscles the power that would one day overturn the world."
Nineteen Eighty-Four, George Orwell
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Sunday, January 19, 2014
Moonshadows
Those were the times that we didn't know where to go.
Those were the times that the silence descended on us.
Those were the times that we prayed for each of us.
The Infinity
The phrase "a long story" brought to mind a tall stake in the desert, where nothing else stood as far as the eye could see. As the sun began to sink, the shadow of the stake grew longer and longer, until its tip was too far away to be seen by the naked eye.
The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, H. Marukami
Sunday, January 12, 2014
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Questioning
"Is it possible, finally, for one human being to achieve perfect understanding of another?
We can invest enormous time and energy in serious efforts to know another person, but in the end, how close are we able to come that person's essence? We convince ourselves that we know the other person well, but do we really know anything important about anyone.
...
That night, in our darkened bedroom, I lay beside Komiko, staring at the ceiling and asking myself just how much I really knew about this woman. The clock said 2:00 a.m. She was sound asleep. In the dark, I thought about blue tissues and patterned toilet paper and beef and green peppers. I had lived with her all this time, unaware how much she hated these things. In themselves they were trivial. Stupid. Something to laugh off, not make a big issue out if. We'd had a little and would have forgotten about it in a couple of days.
But this was different it was bothering me in a strange way, digging at me like a little fish bone caught in the throat. Maybe - just maybe - it was more crucial than it had seemed. Maybe this was it: the fatal blow. Or maybe it was just the beginning of what would be the fatal blow. I might be standing in the entrance of something big, and inside lay a world that belong to Komiko alone, a vast world that I had never known. I saw it as a big dark room. I was standing there holding a cigarette lighter, it's tiny flame showing me only the smallest part of the room.
Would I ever see the rest? Or would I grow old and die without ever really knowing her? If that was all that lay in store for me, then what was the point of married life I was leading? What was the point of my life at all if I was spending it in a bed with an unknown companion?"
The Wind-up Bird Chronicle, H. Marukami
Thursday, January 2, 2014
Words
Someone and someone were down by the pond
Looking for something to plant in the lawn.
Out in the fields they were turning the soil
I'm sitting here hoping this water will boil
When I look through the windows and out on the road
They're bringing me presents and saying hello.
Singing words, words between the lines of age.
Words, words between the lines of age.
If I was a junkman selling you cars,
Washing your windows and shining your stars,
Thinking your mind was my own in a dream
What would you wonder and how would it seem?
Living in castles a bit at a time
The King started laughing and talking in rhyme.
Singing words, words between the lines of age.
Words, words between the lines of age.
Monday, December 30, 2013
The Point
"From a certain point on, there is no more turning back. That is the point must be reached."
The Zürau Aphorisms, Kafka
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Film Senaryosu
(Pampa bunlari benim turk filmi aksanimla oku...)
----------
- Zeki nereye kuzum?
----------
- Zeki nereye kuzum?
- Erenkoydeki kulube gidiyorum. Sofore soyleyin dadi, arabayi hazirlasinlar...
- Neden kulube gidiyorsun kuzum?
- Fabrikator Sedat Bey'in oglu Alfan, ... Evet Al-fan da gelicekmis. Duydum ki tahsilini de bitirmis, koskoca doktor evet doktor da olmus...
- Zeki bi delilik yapma, yeni nisanlandin.
- Hayir dadi, tabi ki yapmiyiciiim. Ferit soyledi, dans ediyormus, tango yapiyormus dadi! Ona musiki derslerini birakmasini soyledim dadi, dans ediyormus nasil olur dadi?
- Evladim bu sinirle gitme, baban cok kizicak! Ya fabrika nolcak?
- Ne? demek Rana da orda olacak, evet Rana da... Akif beyin kizi Rana da! Onu da bogazda tekneyle gormusler, haha zengin zuppeleri, ha hahaha o da benim olacak...Rana da benim olacak...
- Evladim ben oyle bisey demedim, hem nisanlisin sen?
- Uzun ettin dadi, sofor nerde?
(Zeki cikar, Erenkoye gider.)
--------
Kadir Inanir ile Alfan, buyuk kulupte karsilasir, Kadir onu burosunda agirlar, beyaz kaskolu var ama mevsim yaz...
- Alfan, Alfan ... Buraya gel.
- gel ULEN!
( konusmasina firsat vermez)
- gel ULEN!
( konusmasina firsat vermez)
- Doktor olmussun, yaman delikanlisin. Bundan boyle wireless engineering, electronic yapmayacaksin.
Yarindan tezi yok Istanbul jeolojide mastira baslayacaksin. Magara magara geziceksin.
Artik tango yapmayacaksin, erkek adam oynar mi lenn!
Harmandali oynayacaksin, Rana'dan uzak duracaksin. Delikanli adama yakisir mi ulen?
Yildirim nikahiyla kiz kardesimle evleneceksin.
Harmandali oynayacaksin, Rana'dan uzak duracaksin. Delikanli adama yakisir mi ulen?
Yildirim nikahiyla kiz kardesimle evleneceksin.
O giydigin sapka da kiminse verin ulen!!
-------
-------
Haha :) Super olmus! :D Tesekkurler Emre'ye!!!
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
3 Neruda Poems
I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me,
all day I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me,
all day I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.
I hunger for your sleek laugh, your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.
I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,
and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.
**********************
I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not touch you
It seems as though your eyes had flown away
And it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth
As all things are filled with my soul
You emerge from the things
Filled with my soul
You are like my soul
A butterfly of dream
And you are like the word: Melancholy
I like for you to be still
And you seem far away
It sounds as though you are lamenting
A butterfly cooing like a dove
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not reach you
Let me come to be still in your silence
And let me talk to you with your silence
That is bright as a lamp
Simple, as a ring
You are like the night
With its stillness and constellations
Your silence is that of a star
As remote and candid
And you seem far away
It sounds as though you are lamenting
A butterfly cooing like a dove
And you hear me from far away
And my voice does not reach you
Let me come to be still in your silence
And let me talk to you with your silence
That is bright as a lamp
Simple, as a ring
You are like the night
With its stillness and constellations
Your silence is that of a star
As remote and candid
I like for you to be still
It is as though you are absent
Distant and full of sorrow
So you would've died
One word then, One smile is enough
And I'm happy;
Happy that it's not true
It is as though you are absent
Distant and full of sorrow
So you would've died
One word then, One smile is enough
And I'm happy;
Happy that it's not true
**********************
I want you to know
one thing.
You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.
Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.
If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.
If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.
But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.
Pablo Neruda
---
Laura!
---
Laura!
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Day, Night, and Twilight
I saw the day part of you. It makes me warm like a glimpse of a smile. It is so child.
I saw the night part of you. It is so woman, but i cannot touch.
I saw the twilight part of you. It is like the rain striking the surface of the sea. It is so human.
I saw the night part of you. It is so woman, but i cannot touch.
I saw the twilight part of you. It is like the rain striking the surface of the sea. It is so human.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
.JPG)
Monday, November 25, 2013
Why Are There Still So Few Women in Science?
Thanks Laura for sharing the article written by Eileen Pollack. I have quoted some of the parts of the article. But, go and read all of them. Then, read it again! :)
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/06/magazine/why-are-there-still-so-few-women-in-science.html
-----------------------------
That the disparity between men and women’s representation in science and math arises from culture rather than genetics seems beyond dispute. In the early 1980s, a large group of American middle-schoolers were given the SAT exam in math; among those who scored higher than 700, boys outperformed girls by 13 to 1. But scoring 700 or higher on the SATs, even in middle school, doesn’t necessarily reveal true mathematical creativity or facility with higher-level concepts. And these were all American students. The mathematical society’s study of the top achievers in international competitions went much further in examining genius by analyzing the performance of young women in other cultures. The study’s conclusion? The scarcity of women at the very highest echelons “is due, in significant part, to changeable factors that vary with time, country and ethnic group. First and foremost, some countries identify and nurture females with very high ability in mathematics at a much higher frequency than do others.” Besides, the ratio of boys to girls scoring 700 or higher on the math SAT in middle school is now only three to one. If girls were so constrained by their biology, how could their scores have risen so steadily in such a short time?
-----------------------------
I asked if he had noticed any differences between the ways male and female students approach math problems, whether they have different “math personalities.” No, he said. Then again, he couldn’t get inside his students’ heads. He did have two female students go on in math, and both had done fairly well.
-----------------------------
If even one person had said, ‘You can do this.’ ” She laughed. “Women need more positive reinforcement, and men need more negative reinforcement. Men wildly overestimate their learning abilities, their earning abilities. Women say, ‘Oh, I’m not good, I won’t earn much, whatever you want to give me is O.K.’
-----------------------------
For proof of the stereotypes that continue to shape American attitudes about science, and about women in science in particular, you need only watch an episode of the popular television show “The Big Bang Theory,” about a group of awkward but endearing male Caltech physicists and their neighbor, Penny, an attractive blonde who has moved to L.A. to make it as an actress. Although two of the scientists on the show are women, one, Bernadette, speaks in a voice so shrill it could shatter a test tube. When she was working her way toward a Ph.D. in microbiology, rather than working in a lab, as any real doctoral student would do, she waitressed with Penny. Mayim Bialik, the actress who plays Amy, a neurobiologist who becomes semiromantically involved with the childlike but brilliant physicist Sheldon, really does have a Ph.D. in neuroscience and is in no way the hideously dumpy woman she is presented as on the show.
-----------------------------
What most young women don’t realize, Urry said, is that being an academic provides a female scientist with more flexibility than most other professions. She met her husband on her first day at the Goddard Space Flight Center. “And we have a completely equal relationship,” she told me. “When he looks after the kids, he doesn’t say he’s helping me.” No one is claiming that juggling a career in physics while raising children is easy. But having a family while establishing a career as a doctor or a lawyer isn’t exactly easy either, and that doesn’t prevent women from pursuing those callings. Urry suspects that raising a family is often the excuse women use when they leave science, when in fact they have been discouraged to the point of giving up.
-----------------------------
In recent years, Urry has become devoted to using hard data and anecdotes from her own experience to alter her colleagues’ perceptions as to why there are so few women in the sciences. In response to the Summers controversy, she published an essay in The Washington Post describing her gradual realization that women were leaving the profession not because they weren’t gifted but because of the “slow drumbeat of being underappreciated, feeling uncomfortable and encountering roadblocks along the path to success.”
-----------------------------
Another student was the only girl in her AP physics class from the start. Her classmates teased her mercilessly: “You’re a girl. Girls can’t do physics.” She expected the teacher to put an end to the teasing, but he didn’t.
-----------------------------
Other women chimed in to say that their teachers were the ones who teased them the most. In one physics class, the teacher announced that the boys would be graded on the “boy curve,” while the one girl would be graded on the “girl curve”; when asked why, the teacher explained that he couldn’t reasonably expect a girl to compete in physics on equal terms with boys.
-----------------------------
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/06/magazine/why-are-there-still-so-few-women-in-science.html
Why Are There Still So Few Women in Science?
-----------------------------
That the disparity between men and women’s representation in science and math arises from culture rather than genetics seems beyond dispute. In the early 1980s, a large group of American middle-schoolers were given the SAT exam in math; among those who scored higher than 700, boys outperformed girls by 13 to 1. But scoring 700 or higher on the SATs, even in middle school, doesn’t necessarily reveal true mathematical creativity or facility with higher-level concepts. And these were all American students. The mathematical society’s study of the top achievers in international competitions went much further in examining genius by analyzing the performance of young women in other cultures. The study’s conclusion? The scarcity of women at the very highest echelons “is due, in significant part, to changeable factors that vary with time, country and ethnic group. First and foremost, some countries identify and nurture females with very high ability in mathematics at a much higher frequency than do others.” Besides, the ratio of boys to girls scoring 700 or higher on the math SAT in middle school is now only three to one. If girls were so constrained by their biology, how could their scores have risen so steadily in such a short time?
-----------------------------
I asked if he had noticed any differences between the ways male and female students approach math problems, whether they have different “math personalities.” No, he said. Then again, he couldn’t get inside his students’ heads. He did have two female students go on in math, and both had done fairly well.
-----------------------------
If even one person had said, ‘You can do this.’ ” She laughed. “Women need more positive reinforcement, and men need more negative reinforcement. Men wildly overestimate their learning abilities, their earning abilities. Women say, ‘Oh, I’m not good, I won’t earn much, whatever you want to give me is O.K.’
-----------------------------
For proof of the stereotypes that continue to shape American attitudes about science, and about women in science in particular, you need only watch an episode of the popular television show “The Big Bang Theory,” about a group of awkward but endearing male Caltech physicists and their neighbor, Penny, an attractive blonde who has moved to L.A. to make it as an actress. Although two of the scientists on the show are women, one, Bernadette, speaks in a voice so shrill it could shatter a test tube. When she was working her way toward a Ph.D. in microbiology, rather than working in a lab, as any real doctoral student would do, she waitressed with Penny. Mayim Bialik, the actress who plays Amy, a neurobiologist who becomes semiromantically involved with the childlike but brilliant physicist Sheldon, really does have a Ph.D. in neuroscience and is in no way the hideously dumpy woman she is presented as on the show.
-----------------------------
What most young women don’t realize, Urry said, is that being an academic provides a female scientist with more flexibility than most other professions. She met her husband on her first day at the Goddard Space Flight Center. “And we have a completely equal relationship,” she told me. “When he looks after the kids, he doesn’t say he’s helping me.” No one is claiming that juggling a career in physics while raising children is easy. But having a family while establishing a career as a doctor or a lawyer isn’t exactly easy either, and that doesn’t prevent women from pursuing those callings. Urry suspects that raising a family is often the excuse women use when they leave science, when in fact they have been discouraged to the point of giving up.
-----------------------------
In recent years, Urry has become devoted to using hard data and anecdotes from her own experience to alter her colleagues’ perceptions as to why there are so few women in the sciences. In response to the Summers controversy, she published an essay in The Washington Post describing her gradual realization that women were leaving the profession not because they weren’t gifted but because of the “slow drumbeat of being underappreciated, feeling uncomfortable and encountering roadblocks along the path to success.”
-----------------------------
Another student was the only girl in her AP physics class from the start. Her classmates teased her mercilessly: “You’re a girl. Girls can’t do physics.” She expected the teacher to put an end to the teasing, but he didn’t.
-----------------------------
Other women chimed in to say that their teachers were the ones who teased them the most. In one physics class, the teacher announced that the boys would be graded on the “boy curve,” while the one girl would be graded on the “girl curve”; when asked why, the teacher explained that he couldn’t reasonably expect a girl to compete in physics on equal terms with boys.
-----------------------------
Friday, November 22, 2013
The Lake
My friend, I will tell you who you are.
You are the water. You are the water that belongs to sea and ocean.
But, time surrounded you with the lands and the mountains. The lands and the mountains were strong and enchanting to you. You needed them after thousands of the hurricanes and storms. You were tired. But, now, you are suspended to be a lake!
You miss the waves on you. You miss the violence of the hurricanes blossoming on you, the thousands of fishes and the colors in you, the salt and the odor of you, the sunset, the sunrise, and the moonlight; and the tide; and the intensity and the vastness that you had before! Now, you, the water, are craving for all of them because you know you belong to the seas and the oceans.
I wish i could say "You need to go my friend. You need to go to sea. You need to go to ocean!". But, remember, there are two flowers nearby you. One of them is so blue and so white. But, it is like the moonlight when the darkness descends on the mountains and the lake! The other one is waiting to be born and listening the mountains and the lakes!
Don't go my friend.
You are the water. You are the water that belongs to sea and ocean.
But, time surrounded you with the lands and the mountains. The lands and the mountains were strong and enchanting to you. You needed them after thousands of the hurricanes and storms. You were tired. But, now, you are suspended to be a lake!
You miss the waves on you. You miss the violence of the hurricanes blossoming on you, the thousands of fishes and the colors in you, the salt and the odor of you, the sunset, the sunrise, and the moonlight; and the tide; and the intensity and the vastness that you had before! Now, you, the water, are craving for all of them because you know you belong to the seas and the oceans.
I wish i could say "You need to go my friend. You need to go to sea. You need to go to ocean!". But, remember, there are two flowers nearby you. One of them is so blue and so white. But, it is like the moonlight when the darkness descends on the mountains and the lake! The other one is waiting to be born and listening the mountains and the lakes!
Don't go my friend.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Children of the devil
"I don't despair. As to suffering-oh, yes, i know all about that! You are surprised that i should be unhappy when i can dance and am so sure of myself in the superficial things of life. And I, my friend, am surprised that you are so disillusioned with life when you are at home with the very things in it that are deepest and most beautiful, spirit, art, and thought! That is why we were drawn to one another and why we are brother and sisters. I am going to teach you to dance and play and smile, and still not be happy. And you are going to teach me to think and to know and yet not be happy. Do you know that we are both children of the devil?"
"Yes, that is what we are. The devil is the spirit, and we are unhappy children. We have falled out of the nature and hang suspended in space. And that reminds me of something. In the Steppenwolf treatise that I told you about, there is something to the effect that is only a fancy of his to believe that he has one soul, or two, that he is made up of one or two personalities, Every human being, it says consists of ten, or a hundred, or a thousand souls"
"I like that very much," cried Hermine. "In your case, for example, the spiritual part is very highly developed and so you are very backward in all the little arts of living. Harry, the thinker, is a hundred years old, but Harry, the dance is scarcely half a day old. It is he we want to bring on, and all his little brothers who are just as little and stupid and stunted as he is."
Steppenwolf, Hermann Hesse
"Yes, that is what we are. The devil is the spirit, and we are unhappy children. We have falled out of the nature and hang suspended in space. And that reminds me of something. In the Steppenwolf treatise that I told you about, there is something to the effect that is only a fancy of his to believe that he has one soul, or two, that he is made up of one or two personalities, Every human being, it says consists of ten, or a hundred, or a thousand souls"
"I like that very much," cried Hermine. "In your case, for example, the spiritual part is very highly developed and so you are very backward in all the little arts of living. Harry, the thinker, is a hundred years old, but Harry, the dance is scarcely half a day old. It is he we want to bring on, and all his little brothers who are just as little and stupid and stunted as he is."
Steppenwolf, Hermann Hesse
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Last command
"You like me", she went on, "for the reason I said before, because I have broken through your isolation. I have caught you from the very gates of hell and wakened you to new life. But I want more from you - much more. I want to make you fall in love with me. No, don't interrupt me. Let me speak. You like me very much. I can see that. And you are grateful to me. But you are not in love with me. I mean to make you fall in love with me, and it is part of my calling. It is my living to be able to make men fall in love with me. But mind this, I don't do it because I find you exactly captivating. I am as little in love with me as you as you with me. But I need you as you do me. You need me now, for the moment, because you are desperate. You are dying just for the lack of a push to throw you into the water and bring you to life again. You need me to teach you to dance and to laugh and to live. But I need you not today-later, for something very important and beautiful too. When you are in love with me I will give you my last command and you will obey it, and it will be the better for both of us."
Steppenwolf, Hermann Hesse
It reminds me Johnnie Walker, one of the characters of "Kafka on the Shore".
Steppenwolf, Hermann Hesse
It reminds me Johnnie Walker, one of the characters of "Kafka on the Shore".
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Taste of Boston
And; here i am;
----------------------
And a nice quote from "Steppenwolf";
"The man of power is ruined by power, the man of money by money, the submissive man by subservience, the pleasure seeker by pleasure. He achieved his aim. He was ever more independent, He took orders from no man and ordered his ways to suit no man. Independently and alone, he decided what to do and to leave undone. For every strong man attains to that which a genuine impulse bids him seek."
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