"Only in silence the word, only in dark the light, only in dying life, bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky."
Earthsea, Ursula K. Le Guin
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Revenge
Aomame shook her head. "Even If I take your life here, that won't bring Ayumi back."
"No, but it would provide some degree of retaliation against the Little People. You could have your revenge, as it were. They don't want me to die yet. If I die now, it will open up vacuum- at least a temporary vacuum, until a successor comes into being. It would be a strike against them. At the same time, it would be a benefit to you."
"Someone once said that nothing costs more and yields less benefit than revenge," Aomame said.
"Winston Churchill. As I recall it, though, he was making excuses for the British Empire's budget deficits. It has no moral significance."
"Never mind about the morals. You are going to die in agony while some strange thing eats you up whether I raise a hand against you or not. I have no reason to sympathise with you for that. Even if the world were to lose all morals and go to pieces, it wouldn't be my fault."
----
1Q84, H. Murakami
From the talk between Aomame and the Leader. Striking...
"No, but it would provide some degree of retaliation against the Little People. You could have your revenge, as it were. They don't want me to die yet. If I die now, it will open up vacuum- at least a temporary vacuum, until a successor comes into being. It would be a strike against them. At the same time, it would be a benefit to you."
"Someone once said that nothing costs more and yields less benefit than revenge," Aomame said.
"Winston Churchill. As I recall it, though, he was making excuses for the British Empire's budget deficits. It has no moral significance."
"Never mind about the morals. You are going to die in agony while some strange thing eats you up whether I raise a hand against you or not. I have no reason to sympathise with you for that. Even if the world were to lose all morals and go to pieces, it wouldn't be my fault."
----
1Q84, H. Murakami
From the talk between Aomame and the Leader. Striking...
An Idea
"I've been thinking about this... Well, I always kind of wanted to write a book that all took place within the space of a pop song. Like three or four minutes long, the whole thing. The story, the idea, is that there's this guy, right and he's totally depressed. His great dream was to be a lover, an adventurer, you know riding motorcycles through South America. And instead he's sitting at a marble table eating lobster. He's got a good job and a beautiful wife, right, but that...Everything that he needs. But that doesn't matter because what he wants is to fight for meaning. You know? Happiness is in the doing, right? Not in the getting what you want.
So he's sitting there, and just that second his little 5-year-old daughter hops up on the table. And he knows that she should get down, because she could get hurt. But she's dancing to this pop song in a summer dress. And he looks down and all of a sudden, he's sixteen. And his high-school sweetheart is dropping him off at home. And they just lost their virginity, and she loves him and the same song is playing on the car radio. And she climbs up and starts dancing on the roof of the car. And now he's worried about her. And she's beautiful, with a facial expression just like his daughter's. In fact, maybe that's why he even likes her.
You see, he knows he's not remembering this dance. He's there. He's there, in both moments, simultaneously. And just for an instant, all his life is just folding in on itself. And it's obvious to him
that time is a lie. That it's all happening all the time and inside every moment is another moment. All happening simultaneously. Anyway, that's kind of the idea. Anyway."
So he's sitting there, and just that second his little 5-year-old daughter hops up on the table. And he knows that she should get down, because she could get hurt. But she's dancing to this pop song in a summer dress. And he looks down and all of a sudden, he's sixteen. And his high-school sweetheart is dropping him off at home. And they just lost their virginity, and she loves him and the same song is playing on the car radio. And she climbs up and starts dancing on the roof of the car. And now he's worried about her. And she's beautiful, with a facial expression just like his daughter's. In fact, maybe that's why he even likes her.
You see, he knows he's not remembering this dance. He's there. He's there, in both moments, simultaneously. And just for an instant, all his life is just folding in on itself. And it's obvious to him
that time is a lie. That it's all happening all the time and inside every moment is another moment. All happening simultaneously. Anyway, that's kind of the idea. Anyway."
A part from "Before Sunset"
Saturday, January 3, 2015
Alikiz Kuyusu, Kanciklik Dehlizi, Sise-i Rindan
Mimdarlar, Alikiz Kuyusu, Kanciklik Dehlizi, Sise-i Rindan olmak uzere, ucu de birbirinden belali, birbirinden cetrefil uc safhadan gecerlerdi.
Alikiz Kuyusu, ici yariya kadar gulsuyuyla, yariya kadar da bezir yagi ile doldurulmus, genis agizli bir kuyu idi. Her iki sivi da aradaki huduta hurmet gosterip, birbirlerine karismadan, kuyunun dairesini kaplarlardi. Alikiz Kuyusu'na indirilen Mimdar evvela, gulsuyu ile doldurulmus kisimda, yukaridan dallanan halatlara tutunarak dururdu. Gulsuyu buz gibi soguk oldugundan bir yandan iliklerine kadar titrer, bir yandan da metanetini yitirmemeye caba gosteriridi. Bir muddet sonra, kuyunun etrafini oren mahalle sakinleri asagidaki Mimdar'i ovmeye, goklere cikarmaya baslarlardi. Mimdar soylenin her iltifata, simarmadan, kendini koyvermeden cevap vermeye mecburdu. Daha sonra, gene halatlarin yardimiyla bezir yagi ile dolu kisma gecen Mimdar, bu sefer de yergi yagmura tutulurdu. Mahalle ahalisi az evvel ove ove goklere cikardiklarini, simdi yere yere yerin dibine geciriverirlerdi. Ustune ustluk, bezir yagi adamin yuregini sikistiracak kadar sicak olurdu. Mahelle sakinleri onun hakkinda her turlu fena lafi soylediklerinde, Mimdar bozulmadan, gocunmadan, ustune gelen her saldiriyi usulunce karsilamak durumundaydi. Bir de su var ki, kuyunun agzindan atilan her soz Alikiz Kuyusu'nun duvarlarinda yankilanir, munasip bir cevap gelene kadar da bu yanki durmak bilmezdi. Bir zaman sonra ovguler de yergiler de can acitir, kan akitirdi. Eger Mimdar panzehirini yaninda tasimiyorsa, cabucak kelimelerin zehirine teslim olur; yukari cikartilmak icin feryad ederek aglamaya baslardi. Alikiz Kuyusu'nda cuvallayanlar oteki sinavlara girmeye hak kazanamadiklarindan, kafi derecede pismediklerine kanaat getirilerek saliverilirlerdi.
Kuyudan alinin akiyla cikanlar ise bir gece dinlendikten sonra ertesi gun en pak, en sik kiyafetlerini giyerek Kanciklik Dehlizi'ne sokulurlardi. Dehlizin disariya acilan kapaklarindan biri mahalle camiinin icindeydi. Gulfam camiinin avlusundaki ceviz agacinin dibinde bulunan ve kilidin anahtari sadece cami imaminda duran agir ve hantal tas kapak bu istisnai gunlerde acilir ve Mimdar iste buraya sokulurdu. Dehliz mahallenin tam altindan dolanir; catal catal yollara ayrilirdi. Sinav esnasinda, yollardan pek cogunun ya agizlari duvarlarla, taslarla, kalaslarla orulu oldugundan ya da nereye ciktiklari alabildigine mechul oldugundan, sadece birkaci kullanilirdi. Kullananilan yollarda her taraf boy boy, turlu turlu ayna ile donatildigindan Mimdar nereye bakarsa baksin sade kendini gorur; bir vakit sonra da kendi suretiyle hesaplasmaya koyulurdu. Bu dehlizdeki aynalar Mimdar'a paha bicilmez hediyeler teklif edip, karsiliginda da ondan, herhangi bir mahelle sakini tufaya getirmesini isterlerdi. Teklifler oylesine goz kamastirici, hediyeler oylesine akillara durgunluk verici olurdu ki, pek cok Mimdar icinde kabaran tugyani zapt edemeyerek cok gecmeden kanciklik etmeye razi gelirdi. Ve iste boyleleri, mal mulk icin esine dostuna halel getirmeyi korkunc bir zull addeden mahalle sakinleri tarafindan hemen imtihandan cikartilirlardi. Dehlizden de alninin akiyla cikarak, kancikliga sonuna kadar direnebilenler ise, gene bir gece dinlendikten sonra Sise-i Rindan safhasina hak kazanmis olurlardi.
Sise-i Rindan asamasina varan Mimdar, Akrep Arif mahallesinin orta yerine kurulan ziyafet sofrasinda, mahallelinin kendi elcegizi ve ayakcagizla yaptigi testi testi sarabi kafasina dikmekle ise baslardi. Boyle boyle hem Mimdar'i meykesligi olculur; hem de cakirkeyif oldugundan dilinin dolanip dolanmadigi, huylarinin degisip degismedigi anlasilirdi. Ilk iki imtihani basariyla vermis pek cok Mimdar testiler dolusu sarabi mideye indirdikten sonra yilisarak agizlarina soyledikleri, ciglik edip luzumsuz patirti kopardiklari ve muhabettin tadina damla damla agu kattiklari icin tam da dananin kuyrugunu kopartacaklari sirada elenmislerdi. Kaybettiklerine kani olmayan ve nerede hata yaptiklarini sarhos kafayla bir turlu idrak edemeyen Mimdarlarin, durduk yere hirgur cikartmamalari icin de her turlu tedbir alinmisti.
Sise-i Rindan'da kendini ispatlayan Mimdar, demirden dokulmus kuzey kapisinin onunde, has ipekten serbazlik kusagi kusandiktan sonra yediden yetmise herkes tarafindan bir guzel opulur, tebrik edilirdi. O vakit mahlle buyukleri ona yeni bir isim verir; ve bu ismin kazindigi bir akma haceri kusagina yerlestirirdi.
Pinhan, Elif Safak
------
Sen hangi sahfasindasin?
Alikiz Kuyusu, ici yariya kadar gulsuyuyla, yariya kadar da bezir yagi ile doldurulmus, genis agizli bir kuyu idi. Her iki sivi da aradaki huduta hurmet gosterip, birbirlerine karismadan, kuyunun dairesini kaplarlardi. Alikiz Kuyusu'na indirilen Mimdar evvela, gulsuyu ile doldurulmus kisimda, yukaridan dallanan halatlara tutunarak dururdu. Gulsuyu buz gibi soguk oldugundan bir yandan iliklerine kadar titrer, bir yandan da metanetini yitirmemeye caba gosteriridi. Bir muddet sonra, kuyunun etrafini oren mahalle sakinleri asagidaki Mimdar'i ovmeye, goklere cikarmaya baslarlardi. Mimdar soylenin her iltifata, simarmadan, kendini koyvermeden cevap vermeye mecburdu. Daha sonra, gene halatlarin yardimiyla bezir yagi ile dolu kisma gecen Mimdar, bu sefer de yergi yagmura tutulurdu. Mahalle ahalisi az evvel ove ove goklere cikardiklarini, simdi yere yere yerin dibine geciriverirlerdi. Ustune ustluk, bezir yagi adamin yuregini sikistiracak kadar sicak olurdu. Mahelle sakinleri onun hakkinda her turlu fena lafi soylediklerinde, Mimdar bozulmadan, gocunmadan, ustune gelen her saldiriyi usulunce karsilamak durumundaydi. Bir de su var ki, kuyunun agzindan atilan her soz Alikiz Kuyusu'nun duvarlarinda yankilanir, munasip bir cevap gelene kadar da bu yanki durmak bilmezdi. Bir zaman sonra ovguler de yergiler de can acitir, kan akitirdi. Eger Mimdar panzehirini yaninda tasimiyorsa, cabucak kelimelerin zehirine teslim olur; yukari cikartilmak icin feryad ederek aglamaya baslardi. Alikiz Kuyusu'nda cuvallayanlar oteki sinavlara girmeye hak kazanamadiklarindan, kafi derecede pismediklerine kanaat getirilerek saliverilirlerdi.
Kuyudan alinin akiyla cikanlar ise bir gece dinlendikten sonra ertesi gun en pak, en sik kiyafetlerini giyerek Kanciklik Dehlizi'ne sokulurlardi. Dehlizin disariya acilan kapaklarindan biri mahalle camiinin icindeydi. Gulfam camiinin avlusundaki ceviz agacinin dibinde bulunan ve kilidin anahtari sadece cami imaminda duran agir ve hantal tas kapak bu istisnai gunlerde acilir ve Mimdar iste buraya sokulurdu. Dehliz mahallenin tam altindan dolanir; catal catal yollara ayrilirdi. Sinav esnasinda, yollardan pek cogunun ya agizlari duvarlarla, taslarla, kalaslarla orulu oldugundan ya da nereye ciktiklari alabildigine mechul oldugundan, sadece birkaci kullanilirdi. Kullananilan yollarda her taraf boy boy, turlu turlu ayna ile donatildigindan Mimdar nereye bakarsa baksin sade kendini gorur; bir vakit sonra da kendi suretiyle hesaplasmaya koyulurdu. Bu dehlizdeki aynalar Mimdar'a paha bicilmez hediyeler teklif edip, karsiliginda da ondan, herhangi bir mahelle sakini tufaya getirmesini isterlerdi. Teklifler oylesine goz kamastirici, hediyeler oylesine akillara durgunluk verici olurdu ki, pek cok Mimdar icinde kabaran tugyani zapt edemeyerek cok gecmeden kanciklik etmeye razi gelirdi. Ve iste boyleleri, mal mulk icin esine dostuna halel getirmeyi korkunc bir zull addeden mahalle sakinleri tarafindan hemen imtihandan cikartilirlardi. Dehlizden de alninin akiyla cikarak, kancikliga sonuna kadar direnebilenler ise, gene bir gece dinlendikten sonra Sise-i Rindan safhasina hak kazanmis olurlardi.
Sise-i Rindan asamasina varan Mimdar, Akrep Arif mahallesinin orta yerine kurulan ziyafet sofrasinda, mahallelinin kendi elcegizi ve ayakcagizla yaptigi testi testi sarabi kafasina dikmekle ise baslardi. Boyle boyle hem Mimdar'i meykesligi olculur; hem de cakirkeyif oldugundan dilinin dolanip dolanmadigi, huylarinin degisip degismedigi anlasilirdi. Ilk iki imtihani basariyla vermis pek cok Mimdar testiler dolusu sarabi mideye indirdikten sonra yilisarak agizlarina soyledikleri, ciglik edip luzumsuz patirti kopardiklari ve muhabettin tadina damla damla agu kattiklari icin tam da dananin kuyrugunu kopartacaklari sirada elenmislerdi. Kaybettiklerine kani olmayan ve nerede hata yaptiklarini sarhos kafayla bir turlu idrak edemeyen Mimdarlarin, durduk yere hirgur cikartmamalari icin de her turlu tedbir alinmisti.
Sise-i Rindan'da kendini ispatlayan Mimdar, demirden dokulmus kuzey kapisinin onunde, has ipekten serbazlik kusagi kusandiktan sonra yediden yetmise herkes tarafindan bir guzel opulur, tebrik edilirdi. O vakit mahlle buyukleri ona yeni bir isim verir; ve bu ismin kazindigi bir akma haceri kusagina yerlestirirdi.
Pinhan, Elif Safak
------
Sen hangi sahfasindasin?
Storybook World and Real World
"Her shoulder muscles were tense and stiff, and the sweat of her armpits had an unusual smell. The awareness that she now possessed a pistol was enough to make the world look a little different. Her surroundings had taken on a strange, unfamiliar coloration.
She undressed and took a hot shower to wash off the unpleasant sweat smell. Not all guns have to be fired, she told herself in the shower. A pistol is just a tool and where I'm living is not storybook world. It's the real world, full of gaps and inconsistencies and anticlimaxes."
1Q84, H. Murakami
----
Chekhov's gun...
She undressed and took a hot shower to wash off the unpleasant sweat smell. Not all guns have to be fired, she told herself in the shower. A pistol is just a tool and where I'm living is not storybook world. It's the real world, full of gaps and inconsistencies and anticlimaxes."
1Q84, H. Murakami
----
Chekhov's gun...
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